One of the biggest mistakes we make in our efforts to develop healthy habits, both for ourselves and our children, is that we think that words help to modify or change behavior. When it comes to temper tantrums and meltdowns, and all the whining and screaming that goes with it, we are even more prone to over-use of words. As a Licensed Psychologist, I am often reminding parents: Words DO NOT TEACH behavioral lessons well. Not with any degree of predictability. Words are great for teaching algebra, giving someone directions, or discussing your feelings.
When it comes to changing behavior however, words simply don't work very well. When you want to teach your child to drop a temper tantrum, words are worthless. If you want to test the truth of this, just try using more words to see if it changes your child's temper tantrums. Do they scream less if you use more words? Do they stomp their feet less? Many of you One of the biggest mistakes we make in our efforts to develop healthy habits, both for ourselves and our children, is that we think that words help to modify or change behavior. When it comes to temper tantrums and meltdowns, and all the whining and screaming that goes with it, we are even more prone to over-use of words.
Mini Convertible Crib
As a Licensed Psychologist, I am often reminding parents: Words DO NOT TEACH behavioral lessons well. Not with any degree of predictability. Words are great for teaching algebra, giving someone directions, or discussing your feelings. When it comes to changing behavior however, words simply don't work very well. When you want to teach your child to drop a temper tantrum, words are worthless. If you want to test the truth of this, just try using more words to see if it changes your child's temper tantrums. Do they scream less if you use more words? Do they stomp their feet less? Many of you have already tested this, and you know that I speak accurately.
Words make tantrums worse. All of us usually have lots of great words. A lack of words is not the problem. Your child's temper tantrum doesn't need more words. A lack of understanding about how to use your actions, and your attention, to shape healthy behavior is where the problem really lies. In the arena of parenting, this is a critical lesson to learn. Why don't words work to teach limits?
There are several reasons why. Here they are.
1. Words bring parent attention to the problem.
When a problem exists, like a temper tantrum or we see an upset in the making, we step in with lots of words, and children get lots of attention. If we are trying to teach a child to abandon a tantrum as a way of getting satisfaction, how can we do that by throwing our words and attention to it? If we simply step in with words and lectures, the unwanted behavior just gets more and more parental attention.
2. Words do not control behavior like we think they do.
If you words really controlled your child's actions, you would not likely be reading this. In fact, as a Licensed Psychologist, I would be out of business if words effectively controlled children's behavior. It simply doesn't work that way.
3. Words make us think we are doing something...when we aren't!
When we start talking, we think we are working toward a solution. This is a lie. Just watch the tantrums, and you see them getting worse. Yet, we often keep talking. Why? Because we falsely believe we are doing something.
We must abandon this completely, if we want those temper tantrums to go away.
So what does work?
While I can't give the whole answer here, I can be very clear with you. Stop talking to the tantrum. Stop negotiating with the tantrum. Stop dancing around the temper tantrums. Abandon efforts to use words to help your child out of their temper tantrums...they must find their own path. If you just start here, you will find that life at home will very likely get worse for a few days and then turn dramatically better. Your child will seek out more of those words from you. You must stay away, and stick to this first stage strategy, and things will get better!
I have already tested this, and you know that I speak accurately.
Black Friday Bloom Alma Urban Crib Frame Coconut White 2011 Deals
Nov 18, 2011 03:36:13
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Black Friday Bloom Alma Urban Crib Frame Coconut White Feature
- Modern design, solid wood mini-crib sized for urban living spaces
- Co-sleeper/bassinet with extended life as mini-crib, comfortably up to 12 months (longer lifespan depends on baby size)
- Sized for room-to-room mobility during nap time; fits easily through small & standard doorways
- Patented no-tools-required easy set up in under 5 minutes
- Compact-fold construction for easy storage & transport (durable storage bag available)
Black Friday Bloom Alma Urban Crib Frame Coconut White Overview
This amazing design is roomy for baby, but can easily fold to roll away for easy space saving. The urban cot/crib is suitable from newborn to 2 years, and it's solid, safe, contemporary and space-saving.A beautifully designed folding wooden crib, with stainless steel detailing, that is the perfect choice for parents looking to bring a little contemporary chic to the nursery or home.
Designed for urban spaces, elevated living, co-sleeping & grandparent/second homes, Alma's simple patented fold is as appealing as its minimalist look and ease of mobility.
Alma has two mattress heights that combines the benefits of a newborn bassinet or cradle with a crib; a modern easy folding bed that can be used from newborn to two years.
Features include:
- Patented, no-tools-required rapid assembly
- Compact-fold construction for easy storage and transport
- 2 position adjustable mattress platform for growing baby
- Contemporary design and sized for urban living spaces
- 4 lockable castors
- ideal size for room-to-room mobility during nap time
- Durable and strong solid wood construction
- organic custom-sized mattress sold separately
- 19.5 L x 37.25 W x 32.75 H and folds to an incredible 9.75 W
All bloom products are independently tested and certified to be free of lead, phthalates, PVC, heavy metals and AZO dye. Bloom wooden products are free of wood PCP and other toxic wood preservatives, fiberboard (MDF) free, use formaldehyde-free adhesive, use low voc finishes and originate from certified sustainable beech and birch wood forests.
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